Hidan's Sacrifice to JashinSama
by FoamyxTobi
Summary: We all know that Hidan is a religious masochistic psycho. But, how does he do his sacrifices to the Almighty Jashin-sama? Rated M for gore and more than mild language.


I decided to make a blood splat gore thing. Cool, no? This was partly inspired by the Saw series, but mostly cause Hidan is a psycho bitch. Yay!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but if I did...MORE GORE: clenches fist: Tehe.

There's some humour at the end. I can't make anything without putting some comic relief into it, I swear. R&R!

* * *

Hidan shut the door to his room. He preferred it being completley dark in his room whenever it was time to please his god, Jashin.

He walked to the center of his room, smirking at the once brown wood of the floor, now stained an ugly deep red from the blood setting into the wood. He murmured a quick prayer, then bit into his thumb, drawing blood.

He used his blood to draw a circle around him. That would be where he would kneel. Around the circle, he made different kanjis, all spiraling around. He added another outer layer to the circle, having to bite into his other thumb to draw more blood. Around the smaller kanjis he drew 5 bigger ones, all circling around him. Dog, monkey, boar, rooster, snake. It always had to be in that order, or something would go wrong. Horribly wrong.

He grabbed his scythe and knelt in the circle, leaning back so far his back was almost touching the bottoms of his feet. He swiftly removed his cloak, revealing a well toned pale chest.

"Jashin-sama, I sacrifice myself for you.." he began, making a horizontal slash across his stomach using the first blade on his scythe.

"To please you in every way..." he continued, making a vertical slash on his stomach, intercrossing it with the other slash. He had made an inverted cross on his stomach. The wounds were seeping blood, and it dripped into the circle, running down his sides. Hidan flinched a little, but other than that, paid no attention to it.

"So that glorious death and destruction will rain down upon these mortals who refuse your exsistance..." Hidan grabbed his scythe with both hands, digging all three blades into the inverted cross on his belly. He jerked the scythe upward, digging into his intestines, making the neat slash a thick and bloody gash.

"And that your loyal followers be spared..." Hidan gently placed the scythe next to him, and he leaned back. He plunged his right hand into the deep gash, and grabbed his intestine, pulling it out. The pink, bloody organ pulsated as he ripped it out of his body. Blood flowed out and on his torso like a crimson tidal wave, splattering on the ground.

"So that we are able to become god like figures on Earth, proving everyone of your exsistance..." Hidan let go of his organ, letting it drop down and hang out of him like a pig hanging in a butchershop window. He picked his scythe back up, and drug the bloodstained blades across his chest. He put the scythe back and reached into the kunai holster on his leg, pulling one out.

"Bless this weapon, Jashin-sama, so that I am able to sacrifice my soul for you..." he begged his god. The weapon seemed to take on a dark red glow, and Hidan smirked. He plunged it into his chest, blood spurting out and splattering on his face. He felt the tip of the kunai poke his heart, and he let out a pleased sigh. He pushed the kunai in father, so that the handle was barely visible, and speared his heart. He violently yanked out the kunai, more blood squirted through the thick, deep wound, running down his chest and dripping down onto the floor. His stared at his heart for 5 seconds. It was still beating, frantically beating as the blood it was pumping squirted out of the aorta and dribbled down onto his chest.

"Jashin-sama, I offer you my heart as a holy sacrifice." he said loudly and clearly, holding up the speared heart, still beating as blood kept flying out. "Accept my offer, so therefore I cleanse myself for you." His heart took on the same deep red glow the kunai did, and Hidan smirked again.

"I thank you, Jashin-sama, a thousand times over." He brought his heart, still beating but less franticly to his face. He looked at it, and brought it to his mouth, licking some of the blood off of it. He then took a large bite out of his heart. It stopped beating almost immediatly, and Hidan's smirk grew wider. He chewed his raw, bloody heart slowly, then swallowed. He slipped the rest of his heart off of the kunai, placing it next to his scythe, and then sliced open his stomach. He plunged his hand into it, fishing for the familiar substance. His fingers started to burn from the stomach acids, but he kept searching. He finally found the red, chewed up, partially digested heart and pulled it out. He was about to place the chewed up heart back in his mouth, but then the door opened.

Bright light shined down on Hidan, who squinted and tried to see just who the fuck dared to enter his room.

Of course, it was Kakuzu.

"Hey, Hidan, you asshole, just where the hell are my Aqua CDs?? I know you have them, I heard you singing Barbie Girl just y-" Kakuzu demanded, then stopped short, staring at his masochistic partner.

"Kakuzu, you shit head!! What the fuck are you doing???" Hidan screamed, immediatly getting up, his lower intestine dropping from his body onto the floor. "Goddammit!!!" Hidan screamed.

Kakuzu's eye twitched. "You crazy backward-ass fuck." he managed to say, as he stared at the pulsating organ on the floor.

"What the fuck are you staring at??" Hidan snarled. "Take a motherfucking picture, it'll last longer!!!"

"Know what? Keep the CDs." Kakuzu said, turning away from his partner. He slammed the door shut, and walked back over to where he was talking to Deidara and Itachi. That was something he never hoped to see again. Ever.

"Goddammit." Hidan cursed again, bending down to pick up his intestine. "Now I have to start all fucking over again!!" He turned, and walked back to the circle he had drawn, which was already beginning to fade. He messily tried to place his intestine back where it was supposed to go, and knelt down again...

* * *

Creepy, no? I felt like being in a macabre mood, and I was also watching Silence of the Lambs. Ah, Hannibal Lector and Buffalo Bill, you crazy bitches.

"It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!" :D

And now, a small spoof of my own story:

Jashin's alighty voice boomed down on Hidan's ears.

"IT PUTS THE FUCKING LOTION ON ITS SKIN!!!!" Jashin-sama yelled, and a Holy Bottle of Lotion was thrown unto Hidan's head.

"...What the shit?" Hidan asked.

"DO NOT QUESTION ME!" Jashin-sama yelled. "PUT THE FUCKING LOTION ON, MAKE YOUR SKIN NICE AND SUPPLE, OR I'LL KILL YOUR ASS!!"

end!

Ah, stupid, no? Once again, R&R!


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